The First Advice

The first advice I have to offer, is to talk with your elderly loved ones about their wishes long before they need care. Plant the seeds. I believe that your loved one will be less resistant to your help, when the time comes, if the dialog is not a new one.

 Let them know that over half of all people over the age of 80 have some sort of dementia. It is an equal opportunity thief of memories. It attacks all economic levels, religions, races and sexes. Make sure your loved one knows that your decision to make any interventions will be based on their safety and your love for them.

Once the dialog has been opened keep it open. Give your loved on a chance to express feelings about this, whether negative or positive. One positive thing that could come from this is your loved one may come up with a plan on their own. If so, encourage him or her to put it in writing and date and sign it. It may be a great persuader in the future.

I want to go back and go through all of the steps we went through in trying to care for Mom and Dad, where they were. They didn't work for us, but I believe that we started the process too late. And even though these intervention did not work for our family, I believe that these are still valid interventions that every family should consider. Once you have considered them, only you can decide if they are worth trying for your family member(s).

Please don't be confused by me referring to my mother- and father-in-law as Mom and Dad. This is what I call them, and it conveniently protects their privacy. Dad is actually in the hospital right now with Pneumonia, and my husband and I need to take Mom to the hospital to visit him. But I have a lot more to say about Alzheimer's Disease and arranging care for its victims. So that's all for now, but more to follow!